


The Three Of Us

by V_V_lala



Category: Dark Tower - King
Genre: Friendship, Love Triangle, Multi, post-Mejis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-19
Updated: 2009-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-04 15:03:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/V_V_lala/pseuds/V_V_lala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cuthbert hasn't been the same since Mejis. Alain wants to talk about it, and things hidden under the surface come tumbling out. Alain/Cuthbert friendship, Bert/Roland/Alain triangle (slash).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Three Of Us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sekala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sekala/gifts).



> Happy Holidays! I hope you enjoy :)

Alain watched as Cuthbert attended to Roland, practically force feeding him the soup and putting him to bed. Just like the night before, and the night before that, and so on… Alain always wondered how someone like Bert, with his feisty personality, the boy who could never sit still for even a moment, could have so much patience. It had to be his inherent kindness, there was no other explanation.

 

After giving Cuthbert a few moments with Roland – Bert always waited for Roland to fall asleep before even considering going to bed himself or even simply moving – Alain went over and, putting a hand on the young man’s shoulder, said quietly, “Come on, Bert. There’s nothing you can do.”

 

Cuthbert looked up, eyes somewhat dazed, as though his thoughts were elsewhere entirely, not really in the here and now, not with Alain or even Roland. “Alright,” he said, finally, with the same blank look. He stood and followed Alain to the other side of the campfire. He sat down and proceeded to poke the ashes and branches with a long stick. Strands of his dark brown hair fell over his eyes and Alain noticed, perhaps for the first time, that he looked older than when they had first left Gilead. There was a maturity in his dark-blue eyes and a straightness in his shoulders that was more defensiveness than boyish self-confidence.  

 

“Bert…” Alain started softly, but Cuthbert shook his head. He didn’t want to talk about Roland and he knew Alain did. But Alain Jones could be terribly stubborn. “Please, Bert. Could you at least talk to me?”

 

Cuthbert looked up but didn’t say a thing.

 

“You haven’t smiled once since we left Mejis.”

 

Bert made a distracted, derisive gesture.  “What has there been to smile about?” The somber tone did not suite him, it wasn’t like Bert. Alain felt himself shiver involuntarily.

 

“It’s just not you, Bert.” He thought for a moment. “Why are you angry with me?” Bert started to shake his head but Alain cut him off. “I know you are. You bear some anger at the whole universe but with me…it’s different. It’s personal. What have I done, Bert?”

 

Cuthbert glanced up, saw the way the fire reflected off of Alain’s honeysuckle blonde hair, bringing out the soft ginger highlights, and looked away quickly. “It’s just not fair…There is no joy in victory. There is no joy in love. There’s no joy in anything at all. Whenever something goes right a million other things go wrong.”

 

Alain stared at him. Bert had never been pessimistic. Ever. The opposite, actually. Confused and miffed, Alain looked down into his lap. “Roland will be alright, Bert. Susan’s death has shocked him, shaken him to the core, but he will recover/ He always does, you know. What could you expect after all? She was his first lover, he felt responsible for her. You know Roland never took guilt or regret very well.”

 

There was an ironic, slightly bitter edge to Bert’s tone when he finally spoke again. “His first lover. But not his first love?”

 

Alain flushed, the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach growing and tightening the iron ring around his chest. “I…Bert…Aye. Not his first love,” Alain finally admitted. He meant to avoid Cuthbert’s eyes at all cost, afraid to see the boy’s heart breaking.

 

But when Bert did look up, there was no sharp pain, no torn or dashed illusions. Perhaps, his heart already was broken. Cuthbert was smarter than Roland gave him credit for. “It’s alright.”

 

“I feel like I betrayed you.”

 

“You know you didn’t.” Bert laughed slightly, but there was no real humor in it, no brightness. “I would have been selfish to feel betrayed by you, anyways. You never did a thing to encourage him and you were always more his type. Smart, calm, collected, talented, at least with the Touch—”

 

“Oh, Cuthbert, do you really doubt that Roland loves you?”

 

“—Do you know what the painful part is? It’s that I do _everything _and _anything _for him. Back in Mejis when I kissed him and said that I still love him…I meant that. Every word, every heartbeat. And still he values you more.”

 

Alain wanted to protest but the words refused to come out. “Oh, no, Bert…” was all he managed in the end – a gasp of useless denial.

 

“It’s nothing personal, Alain. You were wrong about that. I have nothing to blame you for and you are my best friend still. But I’m just the little brother the two of you take care of and take along. Never your equal. I can’t change, though, see? I wouldn’t be me if I changed and that’s contrary to my sense of honor and morality.” The bit of sarcasm his tone held in the end was as much a relief as it was tragic.

 

Alain put an arm around Bert’s shoulders, dragging the boy’s head onto his shoulder. “You don’t need to change, Bert. Even if you are the little brother—“

 

“Hah, you don’t even deny it.”

 

“—you are no less loved for it.”

 

Cuthbert closed his eyes and became very still for a moment, as though making up his mind. “Alain?”

 

“Aye?”

 

“Are we alright? The three of us, I mean. Can it be like it was before Mejis?”

 

Alain sighed. “Times have changed, Bert. We can’t erase what has already happened.”

 

“There’s a ‘but’ isn’t there?” Bert tilted his head up so he could look into Alain’s face but didn’t lift his head from the other young man’s shoulder.

 

Alain smiled with slight amusement. “How do you know there is a ‘but?’”

 

“I can hear it in your voice.” There was the faintest trace of a smile in Cuthbert’s tone and the corners of his mouth twitched up ever so slightly. But the first step was there, taken easily in the most banal of moments.

 

“But…we, the three of us, we will be alight. Just give it time, Bert. We will be alright.”


End file.
